A few days ago classmates were discussing how a young girl who they knew was pregnant & had decided to give her child up for adoption. They gossiped about how selfish it was. It was the girls fault for getting pregnant & she shouldn't just "pass" the child along to someone else to take care of. They talked the whole hr about how the mother of the child didn't love the baby by giving her up & how sad it was for the child. I went home that day so sad & heart broken, was that the way my birth mother thought of me? Did she not love me?
I met a young girl a few days later who had just given her child up 6 months ago. It was the hardest decision of her life, she loved her baby girl SO much, but she knew the baby deserved a better life that she couldn't provide. She weighed her options of keeping her baby, but deep down inside she knew her baby girl was meant for a different life. A young family who wasn't able to have children had been praying for a child & as hard as it was to leave the hospital empty handed, she knew her baby girl would be loved & given a better life then she could offer at the time. Did that mean she didn't love her child? Absolutely not. In fact she loved her more then ever, her love was portrayed in the most unselfish way, she gave her baby up for a better life, giving up her personal wants.
I cried at hearing this story. I never thought about the pain a mother goes through giving up their own child after carrying them for 9 months. That attachment that grows inside your stomach, because you created a life and you went around carrying that baby for more then 1/2 a year is a bond that you can't even comprehend. When the baby is inside of you it's easier to make the decision to place your baby, but when your child is actually born and you see the beautiful creation you made, your heart drops, you love that baby so much, how could you give her up now? You can actually hold and feel the baby and the connection is so real, it's a deep love that you've never experienced before.
When I heard the thoughts of the way this mother felt, my heart stung a little, as I thought about a love I never quite thought about before. How could anyone think that's selfish? It was true love.
People question my ethnicity all the time or ask me if it's hard knowing I was "given" up as a baby. An adult once told me it must be weird for me to be adopted since "It's very uncommon in the Polynesian culture to give up family". Well whatever is "uncommon" these days, I truly am thankful to my birth Mother for giving me the life I live. I am healthy and fit, I have been given amazing education opportunities to actually fulfill my dream of becoming a fashion stylist. I have a beautiful big family who loves and supports me and friends who I will cherish for a life time. I truly live a beautiful, successful life and why do I? Because 18 years ago, a young girl decided that she loved me so much she gave me up for a better chance at life. Is that to say my life wouldn't be happy in the Islands of Samoa? No. But she knew that the happiness she wanted me to have, she couldn't provide. That act of unselfishness is something I want to portray in my life. What an amazing attribute and example of love. It's a beautiful kind of love that has literally made me the person I am today. S/O to those strong Mothers we don't recognize that also make great sacrifices for their kids -no matter what anyone tells me, I will continue to believe it is true love to make a decision like that.
I met a young girl a few days later who had just given her child up 6 months ago. It was the hardest decision of her life, she loved her baby girl SO much, but she knew the baby deserved a better life that she couldn't provide. She weighed her options of keeping her baby, but deep down inside she knew her baby girl was meant for a different life. A young family who wasn't able to have children had been praying for a child & as hard as it was to leave the hospital empty handed, she knew her baby girl would be loved & given a better life then she could offer at the time. Did that mean she didn't love her child? Absolutely not. In fact she loved her more then ever, her love was portrayed in the most unselfish way, she gave her baby up for a better life, giving up her personal wants.
I cried at hearing this story. I never thought about the pain a mother goes through giving up their own child after carrying them for 9 months. That attachment that grows inside your stomach, because you created a life and you went around carrying that baby for more then 1/2 a year is a bond that you can't even comprehend. When the baby is inside of you it's easier to make the decision to place your baby, but when your child is actually born and you see the beautiful creation you made, your heart drops, you love that baby so much, how could you give her up now? You can actually hold and feel the baby and the connection is so real, it's a deep love that you've never experienced before.
When I heard the thoughts of the way this mother felt, my heart stung a little, as I thought about a love I never quite thought about before. How could anyone think that's selfish? It was true love.
People question my ethnicity all the time or ask me if it's hard knowing I was "given" up as a baby. An adult once told me it must be weird for me to be adopted since "It's very uncommon in the Polynesian culture to give up family". Well whatever is "uncommon" these days, I truly am thankful to my birth Mother for giving me the life I live. I am healthy and fit, I have been given amazing education opportunities to actually fulfill my dream of becoming a fashion stylist. I have a beautiful big family who loves and supports me and friends who I will cherish for a life time. I truly live a beautiful, successful life and why do I? Because 18 years ago, a young girl decided that she loved me so much she gave me up for a better chance at life. Is that to say my life wouldn't be happy in the Islands of Samoa? No. But she knew that the happiness she wanted me to have, she couldn't provide. That act of unselfishness is something I want to portray in my life. What an amazing attribute and example of love. It's a beautiful kind of love that has literally made me the person I am today. S/O to those strong Mothers we don't recognize that also make great sacrifices for their kids -no matter what anyone tells me, I will continue to believe it is true love to make a decision like that.
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